Some new ones -
For all of you who are having a bad day, here is something to
>cheer you up...it's a crack up! Next time you have a bad day at work...
>Think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation Diver for Global Divers in Western Australia.
>
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is
>an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a
>radio station in Perth, who was sponsoring a worst job experience
>contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
>Last week I had a bad day at the office. So if you've ever had a bad >day,
>I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not
so bad after all.
>
>Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
>few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
>bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
>This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
>warm is this:
>
>We have a diesel powered industrial 'water heater'. This $20,000
>piece of equipment sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose,
>which is taped to the side of the suit. I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
>wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
>working in a Jacuzzi.
>Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my arse started to >itch.
>
>So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
>a few seconds my arse started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
>my back, but the damage was already done. In agony I realised what
>had happened. The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
>into my suit.
>Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
>couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my arse was not as >fortunate.
>
>When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I
>was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse. I
>informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
>His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
>five other divers, were all in fits of hysterical laughter.
>I was then instructed to make three agonising in-water compression
>stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
>surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
>the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
>climbed out of the water, the Medic, with tears of laughter
>running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
>rub it on my arse as soon as I got into the chamber.
>
>Yes the cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days
>because my arse was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a
>bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had
>a jellyfish shoved up your bum.
>
>Now repeat to yourself "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".