Backroads van add

keith dublin

Member Number 161Full ISDC Members 2015
Funny sh1t


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Nov 2012
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For sale 98 306 diesel van - treat yoursef
Up for grabs is this stunning 306, what more can I say? well actually, alot. read on

Put your legs up. Loosen your tie. Pour yourself a cool refreshing glass of the best French wine you can afford and snuggle up with that significant other... You’re in a for a real treat.
not everyone has the opportunity to own the car they always aspired to. However, one lucky buyer amongst you will cruise away in an automobile that is guaranteed to get the neighbours blinds flickering.

Its the kind of car that always begs for a seconds glance as you walk away from individually locking all the doors as the central locking has long since ceased.
You inspect it daily- not for its obvious and numerous dents, marks, scratches and stone chips but you inspect it with your own hands for the curved rugged feel of its steel and the aging grace of its body, the distinctive twang of its interior, as the smell of various motoring oils still lingering in the air from horsing around engine and car parts for a lot of its life 215,000mile life, and lived to tell every tale. The drivers bolster confirming the mileage like a badge of honour.

Now, for the optional extras, the purist in you will love them all.

Power windows - you are the captain as you choose which window may go down, and may come back up depending on which way the wind is blowing.

Sony on board entertainment system – a simple system for the gentleman of simple taste, playing the FM and AM band through the drivers speaker only – you are the centre of attention.

Titanium cup holder – what may look like a bicycle bottle holder screwed to the dash with self-tappers, is exactly that.

For the efficiency conscientious motorist, the power steering has been omitted, not because it was pissing oil, but to save on fuel.

5 x Genuine 205 GTi alloy wheels – to let others know that while you are in a 50bhp van, you may be down but not out.

No matter how aggressive you proceed on your journey, a constant 65mpg is a reminder of the complete lack of power, something a gentleman does not concern himself with.

A towing device is included, for you and perhaps a lady friend to take the caravan to the south of france? Who am I to judge.

A buck commander sticker on the rear window is informing other drivers, that you are are a practical country man who may be interested in going on a deer hunt followed by a brandy

The indate Tax and Doe is testament to its resilient nature, and its want, its need, its desire to truck on into the future.

Too good to be true I hear you say, possibly. However, dont just take my word for it, here is what others have had to say.

“Do not park that pile of sh1te out the front again” – boss

“ why does the inside of this always smell like hens or ducks, its horrific – O/H

“its savage on diesel, that’s the only reason id drive it – dad

“Is that white primer, or paint?” – various friends

Every time you start that thing up it sounds worse than my JCB – father in law

Cant believe its still going – mother

Please bear with me in getting back to you, as im sure you can appreciate, my inbox will be inundated – if I need to I will hire someone part time to review the enquiries – due to the volume please allow an hour for a reply.

the usual saying applies, if you have to ask, you cant afford it - lol, jk, 500e
 
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