Soccer Jokes

T

Turbo

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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks "what's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Christiano Ronaldo and want £10 million ransom
or they will douse him in petrol and set fire to him. We are going from
car to car for a collection".

Driver asks "how much is everyone giving, on average?"

Man replies.... "About a gallon"....



A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the
sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his
sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for
my birthday." His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him
round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."

So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and
finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England
supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The mother is
outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go
talk to your father."

Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"
"Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would
like this shirt for my birthday." The father is outraged and promptly whacks
his son around the head 4 times and says: "No son of mine is ever going to
be seen in THAT!"



About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards
home. The father turns to his son and says; "Son, I hope you've learned
something today?" The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been an England supporter for an hour and
already I hate you German B*stards"
 
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